How do you cope when you find out that your husband has realized that they are a woman? What do you do with that soul crushing pain? Does life continue when your depression feels as though it’s going to swallow you whole and suck you away? What happens when the man you fall in love with is the one that you can’t have? After your marriage falls apart, and you find the man who understands you completely, who makes you believe in love again, what do you do when you find out he has a girlfriend? Do you tell that woman, that you happen to know, I’m sorry I fell in love with yourboyfriend? How do you find the courage to get up after sliding down the bathroom wall crying until you think your heart will burst out of your chest? How do you live with all this?
I’ll tell you how.
You put one foot in front of the other no matter how hard it is. You go to bed at night and you get up again in themorning and go about your day. No matter how bad it is, the world keeps on turning, time keeps marching on despiteyour personal crises. You try to find joy in the small things, and find ways to be happy again, no matter how damaging these ways may be. You hope and pray to a god you may not believe in that things will stop hurting one day, and that you will find happiness. But above all, you lie to yourself. You lie enough until you make yourself believe that the things you wanted are not what you want at all, that you wanted the opposite all along.
